9 Really Bad Lines from Movies and Television.
Writing dialogue can be hard. Sometimes things sound really amazing in your head and then sound down right terrible when spoken aloud. That being said, it is difficult to understand how some of these lines ever made it past the editing process.
"Now we rebuild." - Raymond Gaines, San Andreas.
Disaster movies are naturally made of cheese. That's what keeps them from being terrifying to the point where the audience ends up on the theater floor in the fetal position begging for their mommies. What? Just me?
However, in the last moments of this understandably predictable movie our hero (The Rock) is asked, "So, what now?" and after watching the American flag unfurl dramatically he sighs and proclaims, "Now we rebuild." It's not just cheese. It's the sweaty cheese your best friend's mom offers you from her pocket on a hot summer's day. While we appreciate the gesture and the sentiment behind it, no thank you.
"Master, Sir, I heard Yoda talking about Midichlorians. I've been wondering, what are Midichlorians?" - Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
Poor little Jake Lloyd wasn't given much to work with in regards to his dialogue in this movie, in fact, nobody was (Sorry Mr. Lucas). All the acting in the prequels was dry and painful to sit through, but this line in particular was just agonizing to watch and it was an obvious exposition.
Unfortunately, this is not the only bit of Star Wars prequel dialog to make the list. While nearly all the dialog between Padme and Anakin could be considered bad, there is one scene in particular that stands out in its awfulness. In the Star Wars community it's called The Sand Monologue.
"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating. And it get's everywhere." - Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
Oh, shut up whiny pants. Go kill some sand people, or something. Jeepers.
Unfortunately, Star Wars is not the only beloved sci-fi franchise to suffer from painfully bad dialogue. It had to be difficult for Star Trek The Next Generation's writers to find ways to include Wesley Crusher in any meaningful way. But, come on, some of his lines were so awful that you can't help but be overjoyed when he gets shut down (or nearly put to death for crushing some chrysanthemums).
"I'm with Starfleet, we don't lie." - Wesley Crusher, SNG, Justice S1 EP7.
Shut up, Wesley.
"Just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't mean that I can't handle whatever you can handle." - Major Samantha Carter, Stargate SG-1, Children of the Gods S1 EP1.
We get it, Carter is a no nonsense badass who won't take nothin' from no man. But this line is not only unnecessarily long and awkward, but no one as intelligent and articulate as Major Carter would actually talk like this. No one. I call shenanigans. Shenanigans!
Now granted this was the pilot episode and the characters weren't developed yet. Writers are able to get away with a bit of bad dialog in the first episode that wouldn't otherwise be tolerated. And it usually doesn't affect the series as a whole. Unfortunately, for The Cape the same cannot be said.
"How do you like your eggs?"
"Fertilized." - Dana and Vince Faraday, The Cape, Pilot S1 EP1.
Ew.
While sexy-time dialog can be some of the hardest to write. Which is how we got lines like, "It's turkey time... Gobble, gobble" from the film Gigli (which I didn't include in this list because thankfully I have never seen it and it was not a sacrifice I am willing to make for this list). Humor is even harder.
"I will be reinstituting Prima Nocta." - Tony Stark, The Avengers: Age of Ultron.
Ha ha ha. Tony wants to rape women. Wait, what? Yep. There is a rape joke in an Avengers movie. We expected better from you, Joss Whedon.
"Do you know what happens to a Toad when it gets struck by lightning? Same thing that happens to everything else." - Storm, X-men.
This has to be one of the most made fun of lines in movie history. What most people don't know is that this ridiculous line is simply out of context. Originally the Toad character has this shtick where he would ask, "Do you know what happens when a Toad (insert whatever he's about to do here)? Then he would do his Toad thing and hilarity ensues. Poor Halle Berry was left holding the bag because of some truly bad editing. To be honest though, the line probably still would have sucked even if it had been edited properly.
Every. Single. Line. - Mr. Freeze, Batman and Robin.
So many puns.